so the new journey begins.
been dead busy.
not dead flat in a coffin.
been so... blur etc.
and well ain't happy.
like what's new.
i'm always unhappy.
that makes me wonder...
some people earn so much...
but they never get to spend it...
are they happy?
what's the point of them slaving so hard for...
i so don't get it...
and i've been trying sooo hard to forget someone
and it's soooo not working... god... it's been 3 years...
3 years............ let that memory slip away please...
it's easier said than done.
so fed up with everything...
korea isn't looking like a possible trip now...
since i'm busy again...
with... gol & gincu...
well they called me back to style...
good and bad...
i wonder why i said yes again...
how bizarre...
perhaps to keep my mind of nonsense...
perhaps i just needed to make sure it's a BLAST...
perhaps i'm just crazy...
i need to cry.
this moody face is so going to age me...
blah.
Wednesday, 20 June 2007
Tuesday, 5 June 2007
the second trigger, epilogue.
it's weird that you bound with people you hate from the beginning.
it's lonely when you feel that you're alone.
but until you find someone who you can relate too then you are no longer alone.
val's death is my second trigger.
i'm sad. but also angry.
not the way she died.
but rather like i said... jealous.
we talked about death so often it was like a joke.
a normal routine.
do i feel responsible?
since i saw her msn i want to give up.
and i did nothing.
thinking gosh it's the same old.
people with depression are in denial.
are suicidal.
perhaps even bipolar.
they are like myself a time bomb.
waiting to explode.
those Samaritans
well you can advise but you can't stop us
you can buy us time to live longer
but eventually this will happen.
the third would only means, the tick tock stops.
i probably am being selfish. but ain't no coward in facing life etc.
it's not about money. it's not about being irresponsible. perhaps a little. i know if there's trouble in life everything can be solved. it's possible. nothing is impossible.
*ANNA i'm helping you advertise here!!! ADIDAS woots!!!*
my theory is simple. i die eventually. why do i have to wait for my body to stop then i die ha? what if i'm not happy when i die. what if before i die i had to enter the hospital, thanks to... well let's hope... my nephews and nieces and strangers... they would feel like oh i've saved you. but HELLO... yes now the mechanic *i am a walking talking breathing trophy... that makes me a robot... LOL* has saved me. fixed me. but i will still die. and i have to go thru all those tubes and surgery AGAIN? oh nevermind i like pain... but the COST! why the hell should i pay so much and then i have to go thru it again la! DON't WANT. i kiam siap and kiasu. i rather use the money to get away. for a long holiday.
i've seen my uncle suffering from cancer. in and out. omg. he's old. he's mad. suffer so much just to prolong another few years... and spend soooo much... and suffer... did i mention that already... it's not s&m... it's pure SUFFER... then sooo weak... just to live another few miserably years then again the routine at the hospital. and then cannot eat this cannot eat that... that's not living... WERE YOU HAPPIER?
my life will have no boundries then.
so will my death, there shouldn't be any boundries.
i should not be just here, at home at my comfort zone.
i should be out there. living my last days.
after all we will end back at the starting line.
... and the fact is... i am sick. i just personally don't know how long more this body can last till the final draw.
and no... i'm not doing a veronica. *by paulo coelho*
don't worry i'm not doing anything drastic yet.
it takes time to plan being a pisces... and a drama queen. i want a perfect end.
and all good things, they come to an end.
it's lonely when you feel that you're alone.
but until you find someone who you can relate too then you are no longer alone.
val's death is my second trigger.
i'm sad. but also angry.
not the way she died.
but rather like i said... jealous.
we talked about death so often it was like a joke.
a normal routine.
do i feel responsible?
since i saw her msn i want to give up.
and i did nothing.
thinking gosh it's the same old.
people with depression are in denial.
are suicidal.
perhaps even bipolar.
they are like myself a time bomb.
waiting to explode.
those Samaritans
well you can advise but you can't stop us
you can buy us time to live longer
but eventually this will happen.
the third would only means, the tick tock stops.
i probably am being selfish. but ain't no coward in facing life etc.
it's not about money. it's not about being irresponsible. perhaps a little. i know if there's trouble in life everything can be solved. it's possible. nothing is impossible.
*ANNA i'm helping you advertise here!!! ADIDAS woots!!!*
my theory is simple. i die eventually. why do i have to wait for my body to stop then i die ha? what if i'm not happy when i die. what if before i die i had to enter the hospital, thanks to... well let's hope... my nephews and nieces and strangers... they would feel like oh i've saved you. but HELLO... yes now the mechanic *i am a walking talking breathing trophy... that makes me a robot... LOL* has saved me. fixed me. but i will still die. and i have to go thru all those tubes and surgery AGAIN? oh nevermind i like pain... but the COST! why the hell should i pay so much and then i have to go thru it again la! DON't WANT. i kiam siap and kiasu. i rather use the money to get away. for a long holiday.
i've seen my uncle suffering from cancer. in and out. omg. he's old. he's mad. suffer so much just to prolong another few years... and spend soooo much... and suffer... did i mention that already... it's not s&m... it's pure SUFFER... then sooo weak... just to live another few miserably years then again the routine at the hospital. and then cannot eat this cannot eat that... that's not living... WERE YOU HAPPIER?
my life will have no boundries then.
so will my death, there shouldn't be any boundries.
i should not be just here, at home at my comfort zone.
i should be out there. living my last days.
after all we will end back at the starting line.
... and the fact is... i am sick. i just personally don't know how long more this body can last till the final draw.
and no... i'm not doing a veronica. *by paulo coelho*
don't worry i'm not doing anything drastic yet.
it takes time to plan being a pisces... and a drama queen. i want a perfect end.
and all good things, they come to an end.
the chronicles, the first trigger.
before i was born. my dad had an affair. those days, my family was rather drama. see, even without me. humour please. haha. well there was my mum, my sister, my brother and grandma, trying to meets end.
*my grandma isn't blood related, but that's my mum's story, not mine to tell, tho i had 3 grandmas and 3 grandas... but i know none of my grandas... sighs...*
eventually he came back. and my mum gave birth to me a year later.
i was spoilt. i was pampered.
my sibblings somehow was envy.
looking at my nephew, i could probably imagine what made my brother so pissed. looking at my nephew i'm sure whenever he says thing like 'this is mine, oh my daddy bought it for ME' he doesn't mean to show off in a bad way but more like i'm so happy happy happy. i think i sorta did that. can't really remember, but i'm sure i did something along that line... this is mine. mine. when they never had such luxury. i heard that they had handover from my cousins. while i had fresh stuffs. new. brand new. branded.
part of me felt bad. but part of me also understand one thing. we had age gap of 10 years. if was born right after them i'm sure i would have ALL the handover stuffs too la. i was still wearing some of their old old old clothes anyways back then, just not that many, and i usually say... NO. haha. anyways jealousy always clouds the heart. i was hated by my sibblings then.
later in the years, i think we had fincially problems. i was young. i was naive. i don't really understand a lot of stuffs since they didn't want to explain them to me.
even tho i remember a lot of things. like when i was around 5, fine i can't remember the age but i can remember the event. yes, when i was around 5 i dropped my slippers in the drain while my mum was carrying me. you know back then moonsoon drain are like... damn scary wan la. or when my sibblings, actually that was the only event i ever remember us playing together, that long school holiday, parents were working and we were sorta home along, granda spoilt us... so even if she was there... she's just... there... haha. we play dressed up. etc... my sis dragged me... see that really explains a lot! *later in life i found out both mum and sis wanted daughter/sister very badly*... *eyes rolls*... *well sorry i like my joystick... and i also like joysticks...* HAHA.
yea so there are many other occasions that i can remember. but that was i think the only time we were a we, a unit. a family. there rest of the other times, i was along. most of the time. haha. funny huh, i have sibblings but it feels like i'm the only child. at least those who are the only child really gets ALL the attention.
to be fair life wasn't all that lonely. i was surrounded by friends, or neighbours. mainly girls. *well that explains a WHOLE lot more... and so does the next one...* my best friend at that time, joanne yap... made me play barbies... well not all the time, i get to bathe kent too... *oh dear... if only barbies had the sex gender thing done properly back then... things might be a little different...* but yes i was alone at home.
when i was 14, i developed a misanthropist mood. i couldn't trust people, anymore. i felt that some friends were suck fakes. mainly jin sern. he would just coy you into doing things because he wants something. this is not a question, this is a statement, a fact. i left them. all of them. and shut down completely. loosing, or rather getting rid of all those leaves.
true friends are like diamond, rare a precious. had to find.
false friends are like leaves, they can be found everywhere.
diamonds friends, well i have a few. but even they have their own lifes and stuff. life is just so... pathetic. and the grass is certainly greener on the other end. people see a kid with a smiling face, but there's a broken heart inside.
i found out probably after my dad had another affair... that the only reason why i was born into this world is to prove to my dad that she can still deliver... harsh term...
yes, so i was technically a walking talking breathing trophy. full stop. things might change if i was a daughter/sister... and that before me, there were at least 4 miscarriages.
it's not that i am not loved. fine. i don't know. i think i am. i like to think that i am.
we moved from damansara to where i am now when i was 16. that cut me out of a lot of other teenage stuffs i was hoping to do. like going to the mamaks till late night like how my brother used to do. but even that life... lifestyle was kaBOOM. all because my sister suggested to my dad that she wanted to invest in this house la blah blah blah. then economy was bad, was better that we moved here and rent the old house.
was i crossed with her decision? her selfish intention. God i love them so much but yet i'm always picked. yes so i probably can't do much about this. but my cousin did suggest that i moved into their house in bandar utama. but... but... that's weird for me la to stay at someone elses home... mind you i still studied at damansara... everyday i travel close to 30km to school. urghs...................
college came. i was given a car. sibblings got jealous. they had to earn. save to buy their car. i got mine free. who made me live in this... island? this isolated jail. with no internet for the first one year. with absolutely no public transportation back then. taking a cab to the civil life 6 years ago would cost the same as going to KLIA from damansara when we don't actually live that far! dumb bitch.
few years back when was visiting a friend, i saw her family members. sitting talking like friends. OMG that was a awkard senario for me. i never believe that such thing was possible. i only thought it was in the tv. fin. but life is like that, just not for me.
... oh i'm lazy to carry on this writting...
sometimes i wonder. somethings i wonder too much, why am i in this world. often time i feel like... where am i. lost. that feeling of... WHERE AM I REALLY. what why how when who? if an apple wasn't called an apple what would it be named. is there really another galaxy. where is God... what is he doing now? digger his nose... does he even have a nose when they are death and there's no point of having oxygen in the... soul?
michael barrett *my lecturer from cenfad* once asked, if you believe in science, and you also believed in God. who you rather believe that when a creator made you, you are a mirror to his reflexion. meaning he crafted you as how he looks like. hence you are closer to him. or would you rather like to think that you were previously related to monkeys... HAHA that beat everyone else who were debating in class that time. smart teacher wo. my other question is... if we were monkeys... the current monkeys were previously??? HUH? haha.
besides if you played the SIM. you are in a way taking God's position. you create them and stuffs. but you allow them to evolve. but you craft them the way you want from the beginning and you give the freedom of having them be free. you get crossed when they don't react they way you hope, but then you calm down as it's your choice to begin with giving them the freedom... complicated i so don't want to get to this topic de... haha.
i don't know what is the purpose of me being here. sometimes it feels like i'm more of a leave to the society rather than a michael angelo. i am not contributing. and sometimes i feel... why the hell should i bother about saving tress, being kind when i am hoping that all this would end or that by the time this world screws up... i'm already no longer here, and if it comes sooner... that's even better i get to see the final fireworks.
these are the contributing factors of my to my first trigger. *thanks bernice for that word*
i couldn't care less for spelling mistake or grammar errors. i'm... lazy. HAHA.
*my grandma isn't blood related, but that's my mum's story, not mine to tell, tho i had 3 grandmas and 3 grandas... but i know none of my grandas... sighs...*
eventually he came back. and my mum gave birth to me a year later.
i was spoilt. i was pampered.
my sibblings somehow was envy.
looking at my nephew, i could probably imagine what made my brother so pissed. looking at my nephew i'm sure whenever he says thing like 'this is mine, oh my daddy bought it for ME' he doesn't mean to show off in a bad way but more like i'm so happy happy happy. i think i sorta did that. can't really remember, but i'm sure i did something along that line... this is mine. mine. when they never had such luxury. i heard that they had handover from my cousins. while i had fresh stuffs. new. brand new. branded.
part of me felt bad. but part of me also understand one thing. we had age gap of 10 years. if was born right after them i'm sure i would have ALL the handover stuffs too la. i was still wearing some of their old old old clothes anyways back then, just not that many, and i usually say... NO. haha. anyways jealousy always clouds the heart. i was hated by my sibblings then.
later in the years, i think we had fincially problems. i was young. i was naive. i don't really understand a lot of stuffs since they didn't want to explain them to me.
even tho i remember a lot of things. like when i was around 5, fine i can't remember the age but i can remember the event. yes, when i was around 5 i dropped my slippers in the drain while my mum was carrying me. you know back then moonsoon drain are like... damn scary wan la. or when my sibblings, actually that was the only event i ever remember us playing together, that long school holiday, parents were working and we were sorta home along, granda spoilt us... so even if she was there... she's just... there... haha. we play dressed up. etc... my sis dragged me... see that really explains a lot! *later in life i found out both mum and sis wanted daughter/sister very badly*... *eyes rolls*... *well sorry i like my joystick... and i also like joysticks...* HAHA.
yea so there are many other occasions that i can remember. but that was i think the only time we were a we, a unit. a family. there rest of the other times, i was along. most of the time. haha. funny huh, i have sibblings but it feels like i'm the only child. at least those who are the only child really gets ALL the attention.
to be fair life wasn't all that lonely. i was surrounded by friends, or neighbours. mainly girls. *well that explains a WHOLE lot more... and so does the next one...* my best friend at that time, joanne yap... made me play barbies... well not all the time, i get to bathe kent too... *oh dear... if only barbies had the sex gender thing done properly back then... things might be a little different...* but yes i was alone at home.
when i was 14, i developed a misanthropist mood. i couldn't trust people, anymore. i felt that some friends were suck fakes. mainly jin sern. he would just coy you into doing things because he wants something. this is not a question, this is a statement, a fact. i left them. all of them. and shut down completely. loosing, or rather getting rid of all those leaves.
true friends are like diamond, rare a precious. had to find.
false friends are like leaves, they can be found everywhere.
diamonds friends, well i have a few. but even they have their own lifes and stuff. life is just so... pathetic. and the grass is certainly greener on the other end. people see a kid with a smiling face, but there's a broken heart inside.
i found out probably after my dad had another affair... that the only reason why i was born into this world is to prove to my dad that she can still deliver... harsh term...
yes, so i was technically a walking talking breathing trophy. full stop. things might change if i was a daughter/sister... and that before me, there were at least 4 miscarriages.
it's not that i am not loved. fine. i don't know. i think i am. i like to think that i am.
we moved from damansara to where i am now when i was 16. that cut me out of a lot of other teenage stuffs i was hoping to do. like going to the mamaks till late night like how my brother used to do. but even that life... lifestyle was kaBOOM. all because my sister suggested to my dad that she wanted to invest in this house la blah blah blah. then economy was bad, was better that we moved here and rent the old house.
was i crossed with her decision? her selfish intention. God i love them so much but yet i'm always picked. yes so i probably can't do much about this. but my cousin did suggest that i moved into their house in bandar utama. but... but... that's weird for me la to stay at someone elses home... mind you i still studied at damansara... everyday i travel close to 30km to school. urghs...................
college came. i was given a car. sibblings got jealous. they had to earn. save to buy their car. i got mine free. who made me live in this... island? this isolated jail. with no internet for the first one year. with absolutely no public transportation back then. taking a cab to the civil life 6 years ago would cost the same as going to KLIA from damansara when we don't actually live that far! dumb bitch.
few years back when was visiting a friend, i saw her family members. sitting talking like friends. OMG that was a awkard senario for me. i never believe that such thing was possible. i only thought it was in the tv. fin. but life is like that, just not for me.
... oh i'm lazy to carry on this writting...
sometimes i wonder. somethings i wonder too much, why am i in this world. often time i feel like... where am i. lost. that feeling of... WHERE AM I REALLY. what why how when who? if an apple wasn't called an apple what would it be named. is there really another galaxy. where is God... what is he doing now? digger his nose... does he even have a nose when they are death and there's no point of having oxygen in the... soul?
michael barrett *my lecturer from cenfad* once asked, if you believe in science, and you also believed in God. who you rather believe that when a creator made you, you are a mirror to his reflexion. meaning he crafted you as how he looks like. hence you are closer to him. or would you rather like to think that you were previously related to monkeys... HAHA that beat everyone else who were debating in class that time. smart teacher wo. my other question is... if we were monkeys... the current monkeys were previously??? HUH? haha.
besides if you played the SIM. you are in a way taking God's position. you create them and stuffs. but you allow them to evolve. but you craft them the way you want from the beginning and you give the freedom of having them be free. you get crossed when they don't react they way you hope, but then you calm down as it's your choice to begin with giving them the freedom... complicated i so don't want to get to this topic de... haha.
i don't know what is the purpose of me being here. sometimes it feels like i'm more of a leave to the society rather than a michael angelo. i am not contributing. and sometimes i feel... why the hell should i bother about saving tress, being kind when i am hoping that all this would end or that by the time this world screws up... i'm already no longer here, and if it comes sooner... that's even better i get to see the final fireworks.
these are the contributing factors of my to my first trigger. *thanks bernice for that word*
i couldn't care less for spelling mistake or grammar errors. i'm... lazy. HAHA.
Monday, 4 June 2007
time bomb
...
i'm left so speehless the whole day.
well part of me, is totally pissed off.
the other part is just wondering...
and i figured out why...
i'm jealous.
jealous that you're gone.
that you finally found courage to start/end it.
i wish i had that in me earlier this year.
but doubt i will eventually follow your way.
to be happy.
to be glad.
to be at peace.
one find day.
but for now let me be a walking talking time bomb.
clicking away.
tick tock tick tock.
the clock goes.
tick tock tick tock.
time goes by so slowly.
tick tock tick tock...
i wonder when it will stop.
i'm left so speehless the whole day.
well part of me, is totally pissed off.
the other part is just wondering...
and i figured out why...
i'm jealous.
jealous that you're gone.
that you finally found courage to start/end it.
i wish i had that in me earlier this year.
but doubt i will eventually follow your way.
to be happy.
to be glad.
to be at peace.
one find day.
but for now let me be a walking talking time bomb.
clicking away.
tick tock tick tock.
the clock goes.
tick tock tick tock.
time goes by so slowly.
tick tock tick tock...
i wonder when it will stop.
a tribute to VAL...
you'll be missed dearly.
it's funny how you meet someone new.
I meet Valerie Tay 2 years back.
When I bought Paris from MacAsia.
She was like soo LOUD.
We became friend eventually.
After my obessive ALL ITEMS MUST BE MAC reaction.
Then eventually she told me to stop buying things from her shop.
They were cheaper in Low Yatt.
...
god i'll miss her dearly.
she's weird she's fun she's nice and kind...
we are also both victims to bipolar.
suicidal child...
and that you're gone... first...
that's so unfair...
i wish i had the guts...
we were suppose to go NZ this year!
...
life is so unfair.
...
Val saved Paris a year later due to my abuse.
Paris was on 24/7... 365 days...
But back then Paris was just iBook G4...
then Val named him Paris...
...
God Bless her. She's nuts. She's a friend.
...
...
...
I'm just... shocked...
it's funny how you meet someone new.
I meet Valerie Tay 2 years back.
When I bought Paris from MacAsia.
She was like soo LOUD.
We became friend eventually.
After my obessive ALL ITEMS MUST BE MAC reaction.
Then eventually she told me to stop buying things from her shop.
They were cheaper in Low Yatt.
...
god i'll miss her dearly.
she's weird she's fun she's nice and kind...
we are also both victims to bipolar.
suicidal child...
and that you're gone... first...
that's so unfair...
i wish i had the guts...
we were suppose to go NZ this year!
...
life is so unfair.
...
Val saved Paris a year later due to my abuse.
Paris was on 24/7... 365 days...
But back then Paris was just iBook G4...
then Val named him Paris...
...
God Bless her. She's nuts. She's a friend.
...
...
...
I'm just... shocked...
one busy day...
woots
when i'm active...
i really am active...
was going all over yesterday
so happy...
hehe
mmm... didn't shop much...
learning to control myself
just a towel for my grama cost only about RM39.00
mmm... that's about it...
but hor... food and drink bill was like RM100 i think...
omg...
see this is why i don't want to keep track of how much i spend
now i feel a bit guilty...
only ordered 2 baileys... one pizza... eh that's it what...
... ... ... i'm never carrying cash out ever again!
those shops are scary! they love to rob me!
went to the mechanic...
return stuffs to a friend...
to the gym...
then went for a movie...
priceless...
was a nice movie in general...
didn't like the ending...
cuz... that's not my happy ending...
HAHAHA
lover over money...
... ... ...
REALLY?
not that i love MONEY more than love...
but... this is a realistic world
are they trying to teach us something?
LOL...
i never had love so i guess i'll stick with money.
i like the smell...
i like what it does...
i like the power it has...
LOL...
well then went to chill lo...
and ate the yucky pizza from laundry
was V hungry...
so didn't bother if it was BAD...
then meet up everyone for allureportfolio thingy...
and then... another movie...
SHREK...
LOL...
was thinking of watching that 200 pound Korean movie...
maybe i'll go today...
loves it.
had nothing better to do but test our camera...
miss bodoh hodoh also has the sama sama kamera...
so we both explore la...
and darling... you're bad at photography...
HAHA...
super camwhore...
can't wait to watch FF... and Transformer...
mmm... i shall snap pictures of my shoes... and slippers LOL...
when i'm active...
i really am active...
was going all over yesterday
so happy...
hehe
mmm... didn't shop much...
learning to control myself
just a towel for my grama cost only about RM39.00
mmm... that's about it...
but hor... food and drink bill was like RM100 i think...
omg...
see this is why i don't want to keep track of how much i spend
now i feel a bit guilty...
only ordered 2 baileys... one pizza... eh that's it what...
... ... ... i'm never carrying cash out ever again!
those shops are scary! they love to rob me!
went to the mechanic...
return stuffs to a friend...
to the gym...
then went for a movie...
priceless...
was a nice movie in general...
didn't like the ending...
cuz... that's not my happy ending...
HAHAHA
lover over money...
... ... ...
REALLY?
not that i love MONEY more than love...
but... this is a realistic world
are they trying to teach us something?
LOL...
i never had love so i guess i'll stick with money.
i like the smell...
i like what it does...
i like the power it has...
LOL...
well then went to chill lo...
and ate the yucky pizza from laundry
was V hungry...
so didn't bother if it was BAD...
then meet up everyone for allureportfolio thingy...
and then... another movie...
SHREK...
LOL...
was thinking of watching that 200 pound Korean movie...
maybe i'll go today...
loves it.
had nothing better to do but test our camera...
miss bodoh hodoh also has the sama sama kamera...
so we both explore la...
and darling... you're bad at photography...
HAHA...
super camwhore...
can't wait to watch FF... and Transformer...
mmm... i shall snap pictures of my shoes... and slippers LOL...
Sunday, 3 June 2007
MR BEAR...
HO HO HO...
it's about harvest time!
can't wait...
should feed him more to fasten it up...
HO HO HO!!!
it was so hard getting him a pants... then the belly...
and now... as i'm about to get him some brains... i'm about to erm...suck him dry EMPTY him out...
WAKAKAKAKAKA!!!
i wonder how much will i get...
oh i so want the other pair of slippers... (btw i just bought another new pair from energie...)
or maybe i'll buy a new top... or a wallet... i wonder how much you're worth...
KAKAKAKA
the very innocent victim going to be butt naked again...
LOLs!!!
it's about harvest time!
can't wait...
should feed him more to fasten it up...
HO HO HO!!!
it was so hard getting him a pants... then the belly...
and now... as i'm about to get him some brains... i'm about to erm...
WAKAKAKAKAKA!!!
i wonder how much will i get...
oh i so want the other pair of slippers... (btw i just bought another new pair from energie...)
or maybe i'll buy a new top... or a wallet... i wonder how much you're worth...
KAKAKAKA
the very innocent victim going to be butt naked again...
LOLs!!!
sitting here sulking all day...
i've been in denial and a weird mood for so... too long now...
3 years i think
i've been doing this routine
and everyday i'm sitting here doing nothing about it
thinking
imagining
complaining
and again
and again
then sulk
what's the point
what's the cause
i really don't know
maybe i'm as lost as anyone else in this world
i need to seek what i need
that crave
that epinephrine
3 years i think
i've been doing this routine
and everyday i'm sitting here doing nothing about it
thinking
imagining
complaining
and again
and again
then sulk
what's the point
what's the cause
i really don't know
maybe i'm as lost as anyone else in this world
i need to seek what i need
that crave
that epinephrine
Saturday, 2 June 2007
weeezzz
ahhz...
i've slept almost the whole day again today.
gosh i'm only 24 and i'm so lazy.
jialat...
hehe...
i've been living without a honk for the pass one month.
and i've grown to be so patient on the street...
being mr nice guy is no fun!
i miss my honk!
i miss honking it!
i miss honking it when an idiot is infront of me!
i want my honk back...
LOLs
oh... the camera i bought from singapore
i feel like i've been cheated...
well back here is only rm888!
sighs...
anyways finally loaded some pictures to the computer
but nothing awesome to show
am still getting used to the camera
most pictures are so not focused
bleh...
ah... can't wait till it's july... me is going korea!
YAYs!
i've slept almost the whole day again today.
gosh i'm only 24 and i'm so lazy.
jialat...
hehe...
i've been living without a honk for the pass one month.
and i've grown to be so patient on the street...
being mr nice guy is no fun!
i miss my honk!
i miss honking it!
i miss honking it when an idiot is infront of me!
i want my honk back...
LOLs
oh... the camera i bought from singapore
i feel like i've been cheated...
well back here is only rm888!
sighs...
anyways finally loaded some pictures to the computer
but nothing awesome to show
am still getting used to the camera
most pictures are so not focused
bleh...
ah... can't wait till it's july... me is going korea!
YAYs!
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