lost

i suddenly feel lost.
i don't know where i belong.
where i should go.
what i should do.
should i go hong kong to try my luck.
should i...
oh what should i do.
oh should i return to japan's lifestyle.
i feel so empty.
so blur.
so feverish.
so damn empty.
damn fly.
fly away!
stop buzzing at my way.
i need to run.
far away.
GOD. take her.
call her home.
she's all alone.
she needs you more.
release me.
release us.
let me go.
let me run.
let me hide.
i accept my path.
part of it at least.
If pain must come.
may it come quickly.
because I have a life to live.
and I need to live it.
in the best possible way.
If he has to make a choice.
may he make it now.
then I will either wait.
of forget him.
waiting is painful.
forgetting is painful.
but
not knowing which to do
is the worst kind of suffering.
and.
i need to breath.